The Vargo family will be expanding January 2018 – we’re having a baby!
Can I just say, it’s such a relief to finally be able to share this with you! I’m 18 weeks along, feeling a little more like my(sleepy)self and still on the hunt for a non ill-fitting pair of maternity jeans (does that exist?). For those that have been asking, well, it’s official: The Scary Room is soon-to-be the sweetest little nursery. My heart skips a beat and I could cry typing those words.
Truth be told, we have had many false starts on The Scary Room, having initially hoped to dive into it early last year. We always said, if we’re so lucky, this is where the baby room will be. (Eventually, you know, when we’re ready.) Welp, we were ready a while ago, but as months passed and those frustrating tests continually churned up a single pink line, so The Scary Room sat. It sat and it sat, and eventually, we agreed, maybe we should just get this room in order. Maybe it (us?) needs a fresh start.
This past winter, we turned our attention towards new electrical, a dreamy closet and trim repair. We worked with our heads down and without rush, and when the room had reached its ‘starting point,’ still we yearned for another pink line. We convinced ourselves that the now Not-Quite-So-Scary-Room was still a happy place, a whole room for the dogs to laze in the afternoon sun! Meanwhile, I had became a human pin cushion for the better part of a year, having my blood drawn far more than I’d like to remember, juggling bruises between my arms. I tried acupuncture and choked down herbs; we both had countless tests run, and early morning drives to the fertility clinic became my new normal. Ultimately, I received a somewhat minor (but still scary to me) surgery – just in case it could help.
Although we’re still trying to wrap our heads around it, it helped! That, and the assistance of western medicine and a fantastic doctor (and lots and lots of leaning on one another). I share all of this, because it was a rocky road we kept mostly to ourselves, with only a couple of close friends in the know; they allowed me/us to vent, to feel sad and irrational and frustrated, but they also kept us grounded without ever making us feel silly or ashamed.
At one point, I received the most kind email from a reader. Randomly enough, she had seen both of us at the clinic earlier that day, and more than anything, she just wanted me to know that she was there – for coffee or commiseration, it didn’t matter. Reading that email, my cheeks initially burned with embarrassment, but in an instant, that same feeling was replaced with gratitude. I cried (which, by the way, was becoming a regular occurrence), and I shared her words aloud to Scott. Her small gesture – and yet, really, it felt so huge – lifted our spirits, and it’s one that I’d like to extend to any of you. If you’d like to talk privately, you can lean on me as much or as little as you feel comfortable with, or feel free to leave a comment sharing your story if you’d like. No matter where you are in your journey, happy or sad, confused or frustrated, I’m happy to lend an ear, because goodness knows, I needed it, too.
We are so, so excited to expand our family of five to six(!), and our hearts swell thinking about Jack and Chunk nuzzling with baby. Libby has quickly become another one of my appendages, sleeping as often as she can in the crook of my arm, in my lap or atop my head. We pinch ourselves every day, letting out spontaneous squeals or just squeezing one another’s hands. Over the moon doesn’t even begin to describe it!
My question for you, if you’d like to chime in: Do you have any favorite books to recommend? I picked up this one after several recommendations, but would love to know of any others!